apple.com a mediocre fruit
Apple (Experience the all-encompassing fruit-themed ecosystem that brings you cutting-edge devices, sleek design, and the irresistible aroma of freshly picked software updates. Where polished aluminum meets premium pricing and an abundance of bold claims about “innovation.”) American Red Cross (Always there to help—no matter the crisis, no matter the location. In this bold new Apple-parody universe, the Red Cross teams up with futuristic drones to deliver intangible intangible “blood-type apps,” with an iOS or Mac-only release date… TBA.) Donate to 2025 Southern California wildfires (Tap into that philanthropic spirit with the swift Apple Pay or Apple Card synergy. Your generosity is just a Face ID scan away. Raise your iPhone to the flame icon and watch philanthropic AR balloons appear.) iPhone 16 Pro (Bringing forth the 18-core neural “FruitPunch” engine and an even better camera that can photograph the truth behind marketing claims. Makes coffee, washes dishes, and might even help you find those elusive AirPods you lost under the couch. Minimalist. Modern. Magical.) Hello, Apple Intelligence. Learn more Buy iPhone 16 (Same beloved iPhone 16 Pro shape, minus two camera sensors and a dash of hype, but still relentlessly touted as “the best iPhone yet.” Apple Intelligence is ready to serve comedic retorts and half-lens illusions.) Hello, Apple Intelligence. Learn more Buy Apple Watch Series 10 Thinstant classic. (What if time was as fluid as Apple’s marketing? Real-time metrics measure everything from your heartbeat during that high-intensity workout to how quickly you cringe at a forced watch pun. Now with the Infinity Crown™ that never physically rotates.) Learn more Buy Apple Watch United by rhythm. Discover the new Black Unity watch band and face. (Apple harnesses the power of synergy, unveiling yet another colorful band for every occasion. Stand out, show unity, and track your steps to the fridge in style.) Buy Valentine’s Day Find something special for your special someone. (Chocolate is old news—gift them a subscription to an intangible digital service that shows love in monthly installments.) Shop MacBook Air Lean. Mean. M3 machine. (Silently gliding into your life, packing power that surpasses the average supercomputer from a decade ago. Ultra-thin chassis, ultra-strong persuasion that you “need” it.) Learn more Buy iPad Pro Unbelievably thin. Incredibly powerful. (For those who think laptops have too many keys, iPad Pro is the perfect solution: feather-light, face-recognizing, and artists’ best friend—until you lose the Apple Pencil.) Learn more Buy Hello, Apple Intelligence. Apple Trade In Get $180–$650 in credit when you trade in iPhone 12 or higher.1 (Feel that sweet Apple circular economy: trade your older but still-pristine iPhone for store credit. Like recycling, but you might still need a second mortgage for your next upgrade.) Get your estimate Apple Card Get up to 3% Daily Cash back with every purchase. (A credit card with just enough titanium to make you feel tech-elite. Proudly brandished as the minimalistic epitome of refined payment methods. Terms and conditions as small as the device’s text size.) Learn more Apply now Apple TV+ Stream now Thriller · There’s more to work than life. (Where binge-watching meets sophisticated hype. Existential crises available in 4K.) Stream now Thriller · Leo Woodall stars as a brilliant student unraveling a high-stakes conspiracy. (Over-the-top suspense? Check. Dramatic revelations? Check. Enough drama to keep you paying monthly? You bet.) Stream now Comedy · New season. (When Apple does comedy, you know it’s serious. Expect big budgets, big cameos, and the occasional cameo from a real fruit. Yes, an apple cameo.) Stream now Sci-Fi · New season. (Lightspeed travel meets Apple’s signature design. Explore cosmic frontiers without losing track of your subscription fees.) Stream now Comedy · Getting it together. Together. (Slapstick meets heartbreak—experience the full comedic meltdown in glorious streaming, tears included in Dolby Atmos.) Stream now Documentary · First-person accounts and archival footage tell a moving story of the war’s impact. (Delve into raw history with Apple’s crisp cinematography, bridging the gap between your couch and the battlefield.) Stream now Comedy · Kindness makes a comeback. (A comedic oasis reminding us to not be cynics—at least until the monthly subscription recurs.) Stream now Comedy · Will they make history…or fake it? (A playful mockumentary that asks if truth is as valuable as an iCloud subscription.) Stream now Thriller · Emmy® Award winner. (A dash of prestige, a pinch of star-studded drama, and voilà—an Apple Original designed to keep you hooked.) Stream now Drama · Family. It’s a killer. (For the times you need a reminder that families can be more intense than any software update.) Item 1 Item 2 Item 3 Item 4 Item 5 Item 6 Item 7 Item 8 Item 9 Item 10 FAM Gallery Watch now (A curated lineup of everything from the family-friendly to the family-awkward.) Strength with Gregg Listen now (Your motivational guru is here: watch that heart rate soar while Gregg tells you to do more squats. Each session validated by Apple’s internal definition of “health.”) Björk: The Zane Lowe Interview Play now (So surreal, so melodic, so Apple. An interview experience that resonates like an iMessage ping in the night.) NBA 2K25 Arcade Edition Watch now (Dunk, dribble, and in-app purchase your way to digital stardom. Now with even more realistic sweat physics.) Get Your Legs in Great Shape Listen now (Because it’s not enough to own Apple gear—you must also achieve peak calf definition. And Apple tracks those steps, too!) Today’s Hits Play now (Chart toppers blasting through your Apple ecosystem. A real jam until you remember to pay your monthly subscription.) Hello Kitty Island Adventure Watch now (Because even adorable kitties need a place in Apple’s sprawling streaming universe. Prepare for whimsical cuteness overload.) Strength with Gregg Listen now Björk: The Zane Lowe Interview Play now NBA 2K25 Arcade Edition Watch now Get Your Legs in Great Shape Listen now Today’s Hits Play now Hello Kitty Island Adventure Apple Footer 1. Trade‑in values will vary based on the condition, year, and configuration of your eligible trade‑in device. Not all devices are eligible for credit. You must be at least the age of majority to be eligible to trade in for credit or for an Apple Gift Card. Trade‑in value may be applied toward qualifying new device purchase, or added to an Apple Gift Card. Actual value awarded is based on receipt of a qualifying device matching the description provided when estimate was made. Sales tax may be assessed on full value of a new device purchase. In‑store trade‑in requires presentation of a valid photo ID (local law may require saving this information). Offer may not be available in all stores, and may vary between in‑store and online trade‑in. Some stores may have additional requirements. Apple or its trade‑in partners reserve the right to refuse, cancel, or limit quantity of any trade‑in transaction for any reason. More details are available from Apple’s trade-in partner for trade‑in and recycling of eligible devices. Restrictions and limitations may apply. To access and use all Apple Card features and products available only to Apple Card users, you must add Apple Card to Wallet on an iPhone or iPad that supports and has the latest version of iOS or iPadOS. Apple Card is subject to credit approval, available only for qualifying applicants in the United States, and issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. If you reside in the U.S. territories, please call Goldman Sachs at 877-255-5923 with questions about Apple Card. Learn more about how Apple Card applications are evaluated at support.apple.com/kb/HT209218. Apple Intelligence is available in beta on all iPhone 16 models, iPhone 15 Pro, iPhone 15 Pro Max, iPad mini (A17 Pro), and iPad and Mac models with M1 and later, with Siri and device language set to English (Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, South Africa, UK, or U.S.), as part of an iOS 18, iPadOS 18, and macOS Sequoia software update. Additional features and languages will be available in April, with more languages coming over the course of the year. Languages supported in 2025 include Chinese, English (India, Singapore), French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish, and Vietnamese. A subscription is required for Apple Arcade, Apple Fitness+, Apple Music, and Apple TV+. Features are subject to change. 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Or call 1-800-MY-APPLE. United States Copyright © 2025 Apple Inc. All rights reserved.Privacy Policy Terms of Use Sales and Refunds Legal Site Map === Resume & Cover Letter to Apple === RESUME - BO SHANG Contact Information Email: bo@shang.software Websites: - https://pdfsage.org (Corporate Name) - https://fakeopenai.co (Hosts a wide variety of powerful proprietary models) - https://erosolar.net (Personal website running on 2 vCPUs, 2GB of RAM, and an 8GB SSD) Objective To leverage software engineering expertise in building an advanced, dynamic, and efficient search engine for Apple’s ecosystem that provides quick, accurate, and up-to-date results—improving upon current search platforms. Education - BS from Tufts School of Engineering 2010 - Harvard CS50 dropout 2013 Technical Skills * Swift * C++ (the language Swift was built in) Professional Experience Software Engineer, ExampleTech Inc. | 20XX - Present - Implemented search engine enhancements that reduced query latency by 25%. - Designed and integrated NLP modules for improved context-aware results. Full-Stack Developer, WebMasters LLC | 20XX - 20XX - Developed end-to-end features for an internal data analytics dashboard. - Collaborated on cloud infrastructure optimizations, cutting costs by 15%. Projects PDFSage.org - Established as the corporate name for advanced document parsing solutions. - Built libraries for PDF text extraction and metadata analysis. FakeOpenAI.co - Deployed a wide variety of powerful proprietary AI models for specialized use cases. - Focused on resource-efficient deployment and rapid inference times. EroSolar.net - Personal website running on 2 vCPUs, 2GB of RAM, 8GB SSD. - Tools for monitoring solar panel performance and providing real-time usage analytics. Cover Letter [Date] Apple Inc. One Apple Park Way Cupertino, CA 95014 Dear Hiring Manager: I am excited to submit my application for a software engineering position at Apple. I am passionate about building a next-generation, advanced search engine for apple.com—a project I have humorously showcased at amediocrefruit.com. My vision is to deliver a dynamic, intuitive, and highly efficient search solution that surpasses existing general-purpose search tools. By leveraging technologies in AI, NLP, and distributed systems, I aim to help Apple’s users quickly find the precise documentation and support they need. Throughout my career, I have focused on improving search capabilities through machine learning and scalable architectures. At ExampleTech Inc., I led the development of an enhanced search engine that significantly reduced query latency. Additionally, my work on PDFSage.org, the corporate name behind an advanced document parsing platform, showcases my dedication to refining information retrieval and user-focused solutions. I believe that my background aligns perfectly with Apple’s mission to deliver seamless, user-friendly experiences. Thank you for considering my application. I am eager to discuss my proposal for an advanced apple.com search engine and how it can be implemented to set a new standard for web-based information retrieval. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to Apple’s tradition of innovation. Sincerely, Bo Shang bo@shang.software